Madrilenen pakken tweede geel. (Champions League Seizoen 2010/2011)

Love Thisa...

A little boy was waiting for his mother to come out of the grocery Store. As he waited, he was approached by a man who asked, "Son, can you tell me where the Post Office is?"

The little boy replied, "Sure! Just go straight down this street a couple of blocks and turn to your right."

The man thanked the boy kindly and said, "I'm the new pastor in town.
I'd like for you to come to church on Sunday. I'll show you how to get to Heaven."

The little boy replied with a chuckle. "Awww, come on... You don't even know the way to the Post Office and you want to show me the way to heaven!!!."

Punda...

Siku moja punda alienda kwa SIMBA 'mfalme wa mbuga' kushitaki wenziwe
wanaomcheka na kumuita PUNDA, jina hili la punda hakulipenda kabisa
kwa sababu wenziwe wanasema jina hilo ni kwa ujinga mwingi alonao huyo
punda ndipo akaitwa punda. Mazungumzo yao yakawa hivi:

Simba: Wacha nikupe mtihani mdogo kupima akili yako kama kweli wewe ni
mjanja na mwerevu kama wenzio, ukishinda mtihani huu nitakubadili jina
na kukuita Farasi.
Punda: Nipime ujanja wangu na utanikuta ni mwerevu sana kushinda
wenzangu.
Simba: Sawa, sasa nenda mbiooooo mpaka nyumbani kwangu ukaniangalie
nipo huko au sipo nyumbani mwangu? Halafu urudi unipe jibu.
Punda: Kazi rahisi sana hiyo, nisubiri hapa nakuja sasa hivi.
Basi bwana Punda akatoka mbio hadi kwa nyumbani kwa mfalme kwenda
kumwangalia kama yupo.
Kweli Punda zuzu, sasa anakwenda kumwangalia nani wakati mfalme
mwenyewe amemuacha njiani.
Aliporudi mambo yakawa hivi:
Simba: Enhee vipi umenikuta?
Punda: Mh! Haupo.
Simba: Basi kama ndivyo, utaendelea kuitwa Punda hivyo hivyo kutokana
na akili yako ndogo. Sasa umekwenda kwangu kunitafuta vipi wakati
umeniacha hapa? Haya potea hapa haraka sana, Punda wewe! Kuanzia hapo
jina la Punda linabaki kuwa hivyo hivyo!!!

ONE8 - Hands Across the World (Official Music Video)

PERFECT ANSWERS TO STUPID QUESTIONS....

1. When people see you lying down, with your eyes closed they still ask:- Are you sleeping?
A: No! I'm training to die:s

2. Imagine when you take an electronic equipment to a technician to get it fixed and he still asks you:- Need it to be fixed?
A: No, it got bored of staying home alone so I brought It over for a ride. >:O

3. When It's raining and someone notices you going out, they ask: - Are you going out in this rain?
A: No, in the next one.=-?

4. When you wake up, then comes an idiot asking you: - You Awake?
A: No. I'm sleep walking!(=|

5. Your friend calls your home phone:- Where are you?
A: At the bus stop!:/

6. They see you wet coming from the bathroom:- Did you just have a bath?
A: No, I fell in the toilet bowl! 8-|

7. You are standing right in front of the elevator on the ground floor and they ask:- Going up?
A: No, no, I am waiting for my apartment to come down and get me. (y)

8. Your boyfriend comes to your house with a bunch of flowers. And you still ask him:- are those Flowers?
A: No baby! They are Carrots.:*

9. You're in the toilet when someone knocks on the door asking: - Is anyone in there?
A: No! The SHIT is talking to you!
>:/

Ujumbe wa leo...

Sometimes the chains that prevent us from being free are more mental than physical

Blessed!!!!

This is an expression of God's Unpredictable plans…………….!!!!

Cover them Lord and supply their needs according to your riches in glory. Bless their hearts always! Beautiful! Had to share....this is BEAUTIFUL!! BLACK LOVE!!

This has got to be the picture of the year….truly awesome! Please pass this one along….. that’s it for the day!


This is the Columbus, Ohio family that just had the sixtuplets, this picture is priceless!

lolEST!

MWANDISHI: Wewe unawalisha ng'ombe chakula gani?

MKULIMA: Ng'ombe yupi Mweupe au Mwekundu?

MWANDISHI: Ng'ombe mweupe

MKULIMA: Ninamlisha nyasi na viguta vya mahindi

MWANDISHI: Na mwekundu?

MKULIMA: vilevile nyasi na viguta vya mahindi

MWANDISHI: ahaa sawa,na sehemu ya kulala ni wapi?

MKULIMA: Ng'ombe yupi mweupe au mwekundu?

MWANDISHI: Mweupeee!!!!

MKULIMA: Mweupe ninamlaza bomani kulee

MWANDISHI: na mwekundu?

MKULIMA: vile vile namlaza na mwenziwe.

MWANDISHI: Hii sehemu yote majumba mengi wakati wa kulisha unafanyaje?

MKULIMA: Yupi mweupe au mwekundu?

MWANDISHI: Woooteeee!!!! {kwa hasira}

MKULIMA: Mweupe ninamfunga kamba na kumzungusha malishoni na kumrudisha

MWANDISHI: Na mwekundu vilevile?

MKULIMA: Mwekundu? Mwekundu yeye ninamfunga kamba na kuzunguka naye kama mwenziwe tu.

MWANDISHI: Kwanini kila mara nikikuuliza kuhusu huduma za ng'ombe wako unaniuliza mweupe au mwekundu halafu inatokea kuwa wote unawapa huduma sawa?????

MKULIMA: Kwa sababu ng'ombe mweupe ni wangu,

MWANDISHI: Na mwekundu?

MKULIMA: Na mwekundu vile vile ni wangu.

Look at this....!

THIS SHOULD MAKE YOU SMILE.... :-)

I urgently needed a few days off work, But, I knew the Boss would not allow me to take leave.

I thought that maybe if I acted 'Crazy'

Then he would tell me to take a few days off.

So, I hung upside-down on the ceiling and made funny noises.

My co-worker (who's blonde) asked me what I was doing.

I told her that I was pretending to be a light bulb, So, that the Boss might think I was 'Crazy' and give me a few days off.

A few minutes later the Boss came into the office and asked, 'What in the name of good GOD are you doing?'

I told him I was a light bulb.

He said, 'You are clearly stressed out.'

Go home and recuperate for a couple of days.'

I jumped down and walked out of the office...

When my co-worker (the blonde) followed me, the Boss asked her, '..And where do you think you're going?!'

(You're gonna love this....)

......