Saturday, August 28, 2010

The man called Adam Lusekelo!

Shkamoo Mzee Kikwete

Ah so. Mzee Dr Mohamed Gharib Bilal has bounced back as running mate of the incumbent president, Jack Mrisho Kikwete. Fine. Makes one think, who is he? The Mzee has been hovering in the background of the Zanzibar politics for ages.

One would have thought that he would have retired from Zanzibar politics and play with grandkids while sipping spiced tea. Not Mzee Bilal. He seemed to enjoy the political fray in the Isles. His opponents cursed him and most have wished that he would disappear in some forest in Zenj. But he would not go away.

He looks quite a spright old fellow and maybe he should stick around, laying foundation stones, opening dispensaries and having spiced teas. As you know, in most of our countries, these old guys never retire. PS and an assortment of civil servants can retire. Not politicians.

It reminds one 0f the late Mzee Deng-Tsiao Ping in Chinese politics of the mid-80. Father of China, the late Mao-Tse-Tung tried very much to oust this communist comrade, but Mzee Teng just would not go away. He eventually achieved power when Mao died. Now Mzee Teng is credited to the four modernizations which have made China a world power.

Old chaps can be quite handy in some places. They have a tendency to say ‘No’ and mean just that. Stubborn is the word. Teng Tsiao Ping stood up to the late Chairman Mao
To the chagrin of his boss and in the end he won with his neck intact on his shoulder.

In Bongo what we see is a bunch of psychophants who would agree with anything to please their boss. I hope Dr Bilal means it when he says that he will work diligently and obey the boss. I am sure in his age, he has come to realize that sometimes ‘working dilligently’ means saying ‘No’ to the boss. You see bosses all over the world always listen to what they want to hear and disregard the rest.

Most of us have never liked the scandals which have beset the outgoing government. Most of us are outraged with a sense of impunity by our rulers and no punishment for it. Is Dr Bilal going to look at Jack Mrisho in the eye and tell him, frankly, that this cannot go on? We hope so.

Oh, by the by, how will these two guys greet each when they meet at work? I find it hard to imagine Dr Bilal smiling sheepishly at his boss and saying: “Shkamoo, Mheshimiwa rais…”

I think they will resort to: “Assalam Aleykum.” Will be in order. Although The Prez, Jack is quite westernized and for the rest of us he does not mind a: “Hi Mr President…”

You see, why I am saying that, is because there are all those boot-lickers who grovel to power to the extent of embarrassing most other people. Something like: “Shkamoo mtukufu rais. Everything is ready mzee…”

Mzee? Surely Jack is not a mzee. He is middle-aged and to see old octogenarians address him as ‘mzee’ is liable to make us faint.

Ramadhan Karim

Two Christians were lost in the Sahara desert.
One is David, the other is Michael.
They were dying of hunger and thirst when they suddenly came upon an oasis, with what looked like an emirate with a mosque in the middle.
David said to Michael: "Look, let's pretend we are Muslims, otherwise we'll not get any food or drink. I am going to call myself "Mohammed."
Michael refused to change his name, he said:" My name is Michael, and I will not pretend to be other than but what I am. ...Michael."
The Imam of the mosque received both well and asked about their names.
David said: "My name is Mohammed."
Michael said: "My name is Michael."
The Imam turned to the helpers of the mosque and said :
"Please bring some food and water for Michael only."
Then he turned to the other and said :
"Well Mohammed I hope you are aware that we are still in the holy month of Ramadan."
"This is a lesson for people who change their identity for the purpose of getting favour "
INTEGRITY IS DOING WHAT IS RIGHT EVEN IF NOBOBY IS WATCHING:

Lesson to All Women

A couple was invited to a masked costume Halloween party. The wife got a terrible headache and told her husband to go to the party alone. He, being a devoted husband, protested, but she argued and said she was going to take some aspirin and go to bed, and there was no need for his good time to be spoiled by not going. So he took his Batman costume (mask) and away he went.

The wife, after sleeping soundly for about an hour, awakened without pain, and, as it was still early, decided to go to the party. In as much as her husband did not know what her costume was, she thought she would have some fun by watching her husband to see how he acted when she was not with him.

She put on a Goldilocks costume (mask). So she joined the party and soon spotted her husband enjoying himself on the dance floor, dancing with every nice woman he cuddled and occasionally giving a little kiss here and there.

His wife went up to him and being a rather seductive woman herself, his husband left his new partner devoted his time to her. She let him go as far as he wished, naturally, since he was her husband.

After some more drinking he finally whispered a little proposition in her ear and she agreed, so off they went to one of the cars and had quick sex in the back seat.

She slipped away before unmasking herself or her husband and went home and put her costume (mask) away and got into bed, wondering what kind of explanation he would make up for his outrageous behavior.

She was sitting up reading when he came in, so she asked what kind of time he had.

"Oh, the same old thing. You know I never have a good time when you're not there."

Then she asked, "Did you dance much?"

He replied, "I tell you, I never even danced one dance. When I got there, I met Pete, Bill Brown and some other guys, so we went into the spare room and played darts all evening."

"You must have looked really silly wearing that Batman costume playing darts all night!" She said with unashamed sarcasm.

To which the husband replied, "Actually, I gave my Batman costume to your Dad who seemed to have had a jolly good time on the dance floor. I am told that he was seen by Frank taking a prostitute in a Goldilocks outfit out for a few minutes. Don't ask me what they did; you know your dad still wants to behave like a kid."

Moral of the story: Don't try to sneak up on your husband/wife pass it on to all ladies/Men you Know

Friday, August 20, 2010

An explanation: Why Maradona wears two watches

Asking why Maradona does any of the wacky things he does is usually a futile attempt at finding a brick of logic in a hurricane of madness, but when it comes to why Maradona wore two watches while leading Argentina against Nigeria Saturday, there actually is an answer.

Maradona always wears two watches when he travels - one set to local time and one set to the time back in Argentina. Plus, as a man of extravagant taste (he also wears large diamond earrings and, of course, has a special expensive toilet seat installed in his hotel bathroom), Maradona also has a taste for fancy watches. A taste that the Italian tax authorities have enjoyed as a means of recouping a bit of the $39 million in back taxes he owes from when lived there while playing for Napoli. In 2006, they seized a pair of Rolexes from Maradona while he visited Naples for a charity match.

[Photos: See more of Argentina's legendary coach]

With those Rolexes long gone, Maradona now wears a pair of his own Hublot special edition watches that feature a silhouette of the former No. 10 raising his arms in victory (or perhaps to knock in a goal).

Of course, Maradona's accessories weren't limited to a pair of watches for the Nigeria match. In addition to the timepieces and his Goodfellas suit, he also clutched Rosary beads to help him pray for a fair match. And despite the best efforts of Nigerian goalkeeper Vincent Enyeama, Argentina got the victory.

If these results continue for Maradona, look for two watches to become a globe-sweeping trend. Paris Hilton will be wearing pink ones by July. Now you know who to blame.

Confession...!

http://spotistarehe.files.wordpress.com/2010/08/image31.png

Wednesday, August 18, 2010

LESSON FOR TODAY

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Sometimes, we try too hard to get to the greener grass.

In the process, we end up in trouble........ And when you find yourself in trouble and you're stuck in a situation that you can't get out of, there is one thing you should always remember.......


Not everyone who shows up.......

Is there to help you!!!!
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SOME ARE THERE JUST TO TAKE ADVANTAGE OF THE SITUATION..................

Tuesday, August 17, 2010

Grandma

Grandma & Grandpa
Grandma and Grandpa were visiting
Their kids overnight.
When Grandpa found a bottle of Vi gra in
His son's medicine cabinet, he asked
About using one of the pills.
The son said, "I don't think you should
Take one Dad; they're very strong
And very expensive."
"How much?" asked Grandpa.
"$10. A pill," Answered the son.
"I don't care," said Grandpa, "I'd still like to
Try one, and before we leave in the
Morning, I'll put the money
Under the pillow."
Later the next morning, the son found
$110 under the pillow. He called
Grandpa and said, "I told
You each pill was
$10, not $110.
"I know," said Grandpa. "The
Hundred is from
Grandma!"

Monday, August 16, 2010

21st Century

21st Century developments....

We are becoming lesser by the day

Our communication - Wireless

Our dress - Topless

Our telephone - Cordless

Our cooking - Fireless

Our youth - Jobless

Our food - Fatless

Our labour - Effortless

Our conduct - Worthless

Our relation - Loveless

Our attitude - Careless

Our feelings - Heartless


Our politics - Shameless

Our education - Valueless

Our follies - Countless

Our arguments - Baseless

Our Job - Thankless

Our Boss - Brainless

Our Salary - Very less

Our emails - useless!!!