ONE8 - Hands Across the World (Official Music Video)

PERFECT ANSWERS TO STUPID QUESTIONS....

1. When people see you lying down, with your eyes closed they still ask:- Are you sleeping?
A: No! I'm training to die:s

2. Imagine when you take an electronic equipment to a technician to get it fixed and he still asks you:- Need it to be fixed?
A: No, it got bored of staying home alone so I brought It over for a ride. >:O

3. When It's raining and someone notices you going out, they ask: - Are you going out in this rain?
A: No, in the next one.=-?

4. When you wake up, then comes an idiot asking you: - You Awake?
A: No. I'm sleep walking!(=|

5. Your friend calls your home phone:- Where are you?
A: At the bus stop!:/

6. They see you wet coming from the bathroom:- Did you just have a bath?
A: No, I fell in the toilet bowl! 8-|

7. You are standing right in front of the elevator on the ground floor and they ask:- Going up?
A: No, no, I am waiting for my apartment to come down and get me. (y)

8. Your boyfriend comes to your house with a bunch of flowers. And you still ask him:- are those Flowers?
A: No baby! They are Carrots.:*

9. You're in the toilet when someone knocks on the door asking: - Is anyone in there?
A: No! The SHIT is talking to you!
>:/

Ujumbe wa leo...

Sometimes the chains that prevent us from being free are more mental than physical

Blessed!!!!

This is an expression of God's Unpredictable plans…………….!!!!

Cover them Lord and supply their needs according to your riches in glory. Bless their hearts always! Beautiful! Had to share....this is BEAUTIFUL!! BLACK LOVE!!

This has got to be the picture of the year….truly awesome! Please pass this one along….. that’s it for the day!


This is the Columbus, Ohio family that just had the sixtuplets, this picture is priceless!

lolEST!

MWANDISHI: Wewe unawalisha ng'ombe chakula gani?

MKULIMA: Ng'ombe yupi Mweupe au Mwekundu?

MWANDISHI: Ng'ombe mweupe

MKULIMA: Ninamlisha nyasi na viguta vya mahindi

MWANDISHI: Na mwekundu?

MKULIMA: vilevile nyasi na viguta vya mahindi

MWANDISHI: ahaa sawa,na sehemu ya kulala ni wapi?

MKULIMA: Ng'ombe yupi mweupe au mwekundu?

MWANDISHI: Mweupeee!!!!

MKULIMA: Mweupe ninamlaza bomani kulee

MWANDISHI: na mwekundu?

MKULIMA: vile vile namlaza na mwenziwe.

MWANDISHI: Hii sehemu yote majumba mengi wakati wa kulisha unafanyaje?

MKULIMA: Yupi mweupe au mwekundu?

MWANDISHI: Woooteeee!!!! {kwa hasira}

MKULIMA: Mweupe ninamfunga kamba na kumzungusha malishoni na kumrudisha

MWANDISHI: Na mwekundu vilevile?

MKULIMA: Mwekundu? Mwekundu yeye ninamfunga kamba na kuzunguka naye kama mwenziwe tu.

MWANDISHI: Kwanini kila mara nikikuuliza kuhusu huduma za ng'ombe wako unaniuliza mweupe au mwekundu halafu inatokea kuwa wote unawapa huduma sawa?????

MKULIMA: Kwa sababu ng'ombe mweupe ni wangu,

MWANDISHI: Na mwekundu?

MKULIMA: Na mwekundu vile vile ni wangu.

Look at this....!

THIS SHOULD MAKE YOU SMILE.... :-)

I urgently needed a few days off work, But, I knew the Boss would not allow me to take leave.

I thought that maybe if I acted 'Crazy'

Then he would tell me to take a few days off.

So, I hung upside-down on the ceiling and made funny noises.

My co-worker (who's blonde) asked me what I was doing.

I told her that I was pretending to be a light bulb, So, that the Boss might think I was 'Crazy' and give me a few days off.

A few minutes later the Boss came into the office and asked, 'What in the name of good GOD are you doing?'

I told him I was a light bulb.

He said, 'You are clearly stressed out.'

Go home and recuperate for a couple of days.'

I jumped down and walked out of the office...

When my co-worker (the blonde) followed me, the Boss asked her, '..And where do you think you're going?!'

(You're gonna love this....)

......

Red-carded footballer drives car at referee

A footballer faces jail after admitting driving his car onto the pitch and at the referee after being sent off.

Joseph Rimmer was red carded by referee David Harkness for a ferocious tackle while playing for Lonsdale against Harrington in the Southport and District Sunday League on Valentine's Day.

The 28-year-old was furious at being dismissed, and stormed off the pitch - then stunned players and supporters by jumping into his car and driving back onto the field of play.

RImmer admitted driving his car at Harkness on the council-run pitches in Southport, forcing the referee to dive out of the way at the last minute to avoid being run over.

Defence lawyer Philip Tully told Liverpool Crown Court that his client saw red and was trying to have the match called off.

"He drove on to the pitch in an attempt to get the match abandoned," said Tully.

"He accepts he drove towards the referee and his comments and threats to the referee when he got out the car amount to affray.

"He understands this is a serious matter. What happened was highly unpleasant for Mr Harkness."

Judge Adrian Lyon bailed Rimmer - who has no previous convictions - pending sentencing on condition that he stay away from local league football matches and Mr Harkness.